You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
