My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize