Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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