I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
