guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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