Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
