yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize