Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.