she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?