you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
