I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
