can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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