Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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