I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
