he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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