I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
