yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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