I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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