Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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