im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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