Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have post one night stand depression
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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