Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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