allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
