That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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