Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
