you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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