tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
