The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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