I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
