it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
