i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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