We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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