ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Less talking, more tequila
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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