Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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