so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Two words: nipple clamps
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