maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
