We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
