I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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