Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
