"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
