Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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