He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i believe in u and ur pee
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
