I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
