Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize