I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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