A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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