I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
