At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize