the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
