is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
