Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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