meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
is it fun? or sober?
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