I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
