i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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