By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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