Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
