Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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