it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
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I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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